It’s so different when you actually speak to someone, even if it’s just over the phone or skype. There’s so many things text messages and the written word cannot express properly and sometimes, things just get lost in translation.
Alot of times I read too much into things that are written and not written. I think too much and that becomes a problem when it makes me unhappy. I know I have the tendency to overanalyze things and 胡思乱想, resulting in a lot of silly conjectures and 无畏的烦恼.
Finally getting to hear your voice again over Skype immediately dissolved all the stupid ideas I had built up in my head about you. Like, poof! All my insecurities and guilt disappeared and I was happy to talk, like really talk, to you.
So thank you.
77
It’s been 77 days since you broke my heart. I think it’s finally starting to heal. Everything’s been a distraction so far. Exchange, travelling, all that. It’s been 4 days since we last made contact. I feel fine, I think I am.
But on the other hand, I don’t want to fall into what I call a “backward rebound”- running back to the familiarity of even older emotions with another person. Can’t do that now, can I?
I don’t know what to think. But this song from The Phantom of the Opera which I caught in London really spoke to me.
Think of Me- Phantom of the Opera
Think of me, think of me fondly
When we’ve said goodbye
Remember me once in a while
Please promise me, you’ll try
Then you’ll find that once again you long
To take your heart back and be free
If you’ll ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me
We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me
Think of all the things
We’ve shared and seen
Don’t think about the way
Things might have been
Think of me, think of me waking
Silent and resigned
Imagine me trying too hard
To put you from my mind
Recall those days, look back on all those times
Think of those things we’ll never do
There will never be a day
When I won’t think of you
Seriously, I don’t know what I’m doing. Mood-swinging quite abit this couple of days. Some times optimistic, some just downright moody. I know it’s exam period, but I just hate being on the waiting end all the time.
